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I'm a parasite

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Post by Divergence Sun Jul 20, 2014 12:34 am

Presently, I live with my father, and I only make enough money to feed and clothe myself. I don't help him out with the rent. This doesn't bother me all that much, well, sometimes it makes me feel a little emasculated, but I'm learning to accept myself for who and what I am. All the big conscious and little subconscious struggles that've gone into this acceptance, are a mystery to me. It's amazing, all the things that go on in your head, very few of them could ever be documented, lest we merged man with machine, but I'm digressing. I enjoy the pleasures of not having to do anything. I'd be happy if I never had to work again, and could live my entire life off the government. Not having to do things you'd rather not do, is more important than doing things you want to do. I have no intention of ever working more than part time again, unless absolutely necessary, and even then, I might prefer living on the street, or going back to a life of crime. I am a lazy, good for nothing, piece of shit (laughs). I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to anarchy and annihilation, perhaps what would be preferable, would be if the cost of living was a 3rd of what it is, then I could live on my own no problem. Life is so hard, and so unfair. Blaming others is so much more fun than blaming yourself for your problems (laughs).

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Post by The_Joker Sun Jul 20, 2014 9:23 am

Negation wrote:Presently, I live with my father, and I only make enough money to feed and clothe myself. I don't help him out with the rent. This doesn't bother me all that much, well, sometimes it makes me feel a little emasculated, but I'm learning to accept myself for who and what I am. All the big conscious and little subconscious struggles that've gone into this acceptance, are a mystery to me. It's amazing, all the things that go on in your head, very few of them could ever be documented, lest we merged man with machine, but I'm digressing. I enjoy the pleasures of not having to do anything. I'd be happy if I never had to work again, and could live my entire life off the government. Not having to do things you'd rather not do, is more important than doing things you want to do. I have no intention of ever working more than part time again, unless absolutely necessary, and even then, I might prefer living on the street, or going back to a life of crime. I am a lazy, good for nothing, piece of shit (laughs). I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to anarchy and annihilation, perhaps what would be preferable, would be if the cost of living was a 3rd of what it is, then I could live on my own no problem. Life is so hard, and so unfair. Blaming others is so much more fun than blaming yourself for your problems (laughs).


We all survive in any matter that we can.  I won't judge you.  I've been in many terrible situations myself by comparison.

However it feels a lot better especially towards our own integrity if we do more than just survive.

None of us want to become slaves to this world or others.

As for our collective or individual problems as you already know I always say that they're going to become a lot less when the chaos and anarchy comes to this world globally.  Tick tock....... clown 
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Post by Corollary Keeper Mon Jul 21, 2014 11:11 am

Don't digress. Tell about your pending mergence with machines my friend.

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Post by mr reasonable Tue Jul 22, 2014 3:57 pm

Throughout history, those individuals who've followed the rules set fourth by those who have the power to oppress, have been oppressed. There's nothing to stop you from breaking the rules and getting what you want. You just have to be sneaky, or clever, or whatever combination of things that work. True freedom means complete responsibility for yourself. There's no safety net for those who decide not to be slaves and those who decide not to be poor. It's when you know yourself and what you're truly capable of, and when you remove yourself from the moral discourse that you see clearly that there's food and money all over the place, and getting it is as simple as getting it. Something I've told all the hard working, money saving, back breaking laborers I've met in life..."no one ever got what they wanted and needed in life by clocking in and out and doing their job like they're told". It's a fact that even most adults don't see. But when you see it, you'll be free...assuming your capable of the things you need to be.

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Post by Corollary Keeper Thu Jul 24, 2014 9:00 pm

Are you evil, too, Mr Reason?

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Post by Divergence Thu Jul 24, 2014 9:52 pm

I have no interest in contributing much of anything in the conventional manner whatsoever. If I do manage to contribute anything, acquire any fame or fortune, it's doing exactly what I want to do, when I want to do it, what I love, what I'm passionate about, and will be contrary to this system, which must be destroyed.

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Post by AnalAbortion Fri Jul 25, 2014 9:54 am

Negation wrote:I have no interest in contributing much of anything in the conventional manner whatsoever. If I do manage to contribute anything, acquire any fame or fortune, it's doing exactly what I want to do, when I want to do it, what I love, what I'm passionate about, and will be contrary to this system, which must be destroyed.

Are you happy living like that? As I see it, life is too short to waste it not doing anything.

The_Joker wrote:As for our collective or individual problems as you already know I always say that they're going to become a lot less when the chaos and anarchy comes to this world globally. Tick tock....... clown

That kind of reminds me of a religious person waiting for the second coming of Jesus  Laughing 

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Post by mr reasonable Fri Jul 25, 2014 12:55 pm

Corollary Keeper wrote:Are you evil, too, Mr Reason?


I don't buy into the whole good and evil thing. That's for churchies and people who need rhetoric to support their weak positions.

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Post by Divergence Sat Jul 26, 2014 11:34 pm

AnalAbortion wrote:Are you happy living like that? As I see it, life is too short to waste it not doing anything.
Or is life too long to do something? When you're short, shallow and quick, life is short, shallow and quick, when you're long, deep and slow, life is long, deep and slow.

It's not about happiness, it's about authenticity, I wouldn't be me, if was I living like you.

I do not desire for the sake of desiring, I do not desire desiring. If I desire something, i'll pursue it with intensity, if there's nothing worth desiring, because the potential costs outweigh the benefits, then I'll bide my time,,, observing,,, waiting patiently.

The feeler says yes to everything, yes to life, the knower says no to most things, no to most of life. For the time being, I say yes to thought, I say yes to philosophy, I say yes to the internet, and no to everything else, because I'm stubborn, like that, I'm not in the habit of going along, to get along, of being pushed and tugged by people, places and things. I say no, I distinguish, myself, I separate, myself, from the riff raff. If there's nothing else worth pursuing, I'll sit here till I rot and die.


Last edited by Negation on Sat Jul 26, 2014 11:56 pm; edited 4 times in total

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Post by Divergence Sat Jul 26, 2014 11:45 pm

mr reasonable wrote:Throughout history, those individuals who've followed the rules set fourth by those who have the power to oppress, have been oppressed. There's nothing to stop you from breaking the rules and getting what you want. You just have to be sneaky, or clever, or whatever combination of things that work. True freedom means complete responsibility for yourself. There's no safety net for those who decide not to be slaves and those who decide not to be poor. It's when you know yourself and what you're truly capable of, and when you remove yourself from the moral discourse that you see clearly that there's food and money all over the place, and getting it is as simple as getting it. Something I've told all the hard working, money saving, back breaking laborers I've met in life..."no one ever got what they wanted and needed in life by clocking in and out and doing their job like they're told". It's a fact that even most adults don't see. But when you see it, you'll be free...assuming your capable of the things you need to be.
I agree with everything you said, thank you.

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Post by Divergence Sat Jul 26, 2014 11:46 pm

The_Joker wrote:
Negation wrote:Presently, I live with my father, and I only make enough money to feed and clothe myself. I don't help him out with the rent. This doesn't bother me all that much, well, sometimes it makes me feel a little emasculated, but I'm learning to accept myself for who and what I am. All the big conscious and little subconscious struggles that've gone into this acceptance, are a mystery to me. It's amazing, all the things that go on in your head, very few of them could ever be documented, lest we merged man with machine, but I'm digressing. I enjoy the pleasures of not having to do anything. I'd be happy if I never had to work again, and could live my entire life off the government. Not having to do things you'd rather not do, is more important than doing things you want to do. I have no intention of ever working more than part time again, unless absolutely necessary, and even then, I might prefer living on the street, or going back to a life of crime. I am a lazy, good for nothing, piece of shit (laughs). I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to anarchy and annihilation, perhaps what would be preferable, would be if the cost of living was a 3rd of what it is, then I could live on my own no problem. Life is so hard, and so unfair. Blaming others is so much more fun than blaming yourself for your problems (laughs).


We all survive in any matter that we can.  I won't judge you.  I've been in many terrible situations myself by comparison.

However it feels a lot better especially towards our own integrity if we do more than just survive.

None of us want to become slaves to this world or others.

As for our collective or individual problems as you already know I always say that they're going to become a lot less when the chaos and anarchy comes to this world globally.  Tick tock....... clown 
For me, philosophy is already quite a bit more than survival.

So much so, that one could devote their entire lives, to it alone.

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Post by Corollary Keeper Thu Jul 31, 2014 8:28 am

mr reasonable wrote:
Corollary Keeper wrote:Are you evil, too, Mr Reason?


I don't buy into the whole good and evil thing. That's for churchies and people who need rhetoric to support their weak positions.
Not buying into it would make you evil. Which is good. Not good as in not evil good, but good as in preferable, right, appreciated. You understand.

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Post by Corollary Keeper Thu Jul 31, 2014 8:30 am

AnalAbortion wrote:
Negation wrote:I have no interest in contributing much of anything in the conventional manner whatsoever. If I do manage to contribute anything, acquire any fame or fortune, it's doing exactly what I want to do, when I want to do it, what I love, what I'm passionate about, and will be contrary to this system, which must be destroyed.

Are you happy living like that? As I see it, life is too short to waste it not doing anything.

Anal, what have you done with your life?

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Post by AnalAbortion Sun Aug 10, 2014 6:46 am

Negation wrote:Or is life too long to do something? When you're short, shallow and quick, life is short, shallow and quick, when you're long, deep and slow, life is long, deep and slow.

Not sure what do you mean by short and quick in relation to personality but I don't see how enjoying life makes me shallow. Do you think that people like Einstein and Bill Gates are also shallow and stupid just because they enjoy life?

I have almost everything I want in life and I am amongst the best in everything I do, so I enjoy every second of life, more pleasure (longer life) is better than less pleasure (shorter life), that's why I think that life is too short.

It seems to me like you tried to compete with others, failed and then just gave up and said "fuck it all, I don't want to be a part of this" when in reality, you want to be a part of it, you just don't want to lose to others and be inferior. You can lie to everybody else about it, but you can't lie to yourself. My point is to enjoy your life and do what makes you happy, even if it's being a parasite that says no to most life. I just don't think it really makes you happy, I think you want to convince yourself it does to avoid dealing with your problems. I had the same mentality when I was 15, I've just grown out of it and made progress.

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Post by Divergence Mon Aug 11, 2014 1:04 am

AnalAbortion wrote:
Negation wrote:Or is life too long to do something? When you're short, shallow and quick, life is short, shallow and quick, when you're long, deep and slow, life is long, deep and slow.

Not sure what do you mean by short and quick in relation to personality but I don't see how enjoying life makes me shallow. Do you think that people like Einstein and Bill Gates are also shallow and stupid just because they enjoy life?

I have almost everything I want in life and I am amongst the best in everything I do, so I enjoy every second of life, more pleasure (longer life) is better than less pleasure (shorter life), that's why I think that life is too short.

It seems to me like you tried to compete with others, failed and then just gave up and said "fuck it all, I don't want to be a part of this" when in reality, you want to be a part of it, you just don't want to lose to others and be inferior. You can lie to everybody else about it, but you can't lie to yourself. My point is to enjoy your life and do what makes you happy, even if it's being a parasite that says no to most life. I just don't think it really makes you happy, I think you want to convince yourself it does to avoid dealing with your problems. I had the same mentality when I was 15, I've just grown out of it and made progress.
Try doing nothing, time goes by very, very slowly, when you do nothing.
A year can seem like a decade.
It's challenging, see how little you can do without.
Reverse the game, because that's all it, as in consumerism, is.

Bill Gates?
I have no idea, how happy he is.
Is he happy because he's loaded?
Of course, money can buy happiness, how pretentious of anyone to think otherwise.

If by happiness you mean emotion, sensation and nothing more, then happiness is easy, smoke some rock, and you're there.
Meaning, purpose, creation, destruction, are much more difficult.
If sensation is all you value, smoke some crack, it's more honest.
Live fast, die young, right?
I don't know about you, but if sensation was all I valued, I'd be much more direct about it.

You refer to yourself as anal abortion.
Your name is misleading, I suggest you change it.
For you, not fitting in was a phase you went through when you were 15, then you got a fulltime job, a boyfriend, and a "life".
For me, maladaptation is not a phase.
For whatever reasons, internal and external, I failed to adapt.
Not because I'm stupid (I excel at both left & right brain activities), not because I'm ugly, but because of my personality (in most cases my personality is just different, in other cases, it's disordered (I have OCD),1, and 2,because of my values.
For me, doing what most people do, isn't worth it, the costs outweigh the benefits, so I've tried other things, in some cases, and in others, I've bided my time.

From my experience, things aren't so black/white.
Some people are genuinely happy, and some people are genuinely miserable, but more often than not, there's a lot of ambivalence and apathy out there, and it all ends in death (not saying that makes everything null and void, or I wouldn't be here).
Life is full of trade offs, dilemmas, there's all sorts of prices to pay for things, besides the monetary, a lot of people buy in, all the way, dive into everything head first, and then they spend the rest of their lives, trying to get out of messes they've made.

For whatever reasons, I've chosen alternative paths, and I'll continue to do so.
Only time will tell whether they'll pay off, or not.
Not everyone fits in, some don't make it, they kill themselves, and/or others, and/or they find alternative ways of doing things.
Sometimes alternatives are moderate, sometimes they're extreme.

You are a woman with a pussy, things must be easy for you.
For a man, I mean a real man, things are much more difficult, especially in modernity.
You wouldn't understand.
Anyway, you go be you, I can tell already I have nothing in common with you.

I'm also a hedonist, just probably not as much as you, by the sounds of it.
However, I'm more of a negative hedonist.
Not having to do things that give me pain, is often more important to me than doing things that give me pleasure.
Indolence can be very pleasurable.
Again, you probably wouldn't understand, you are (relatively) normal, and you lack cognitive and emotive empathy (not to be confused with sympathy).

As for wanting to be a part of IT, yes and no.
I don't want to be a part of it, that's feminine, I want it, or a part of it, to be a part of me, or I want little or nothing to do with it.
Because you're feminine, you can't imagine that there's others out there, who wouldn't happily give up themselves, their essence, in order to be part of it.
Because you're feminine, you can't imagine that there's others out there, who genuinely don't fit in, because they're different.
You think everyone is like you, we all want loads of "friends", material things, and so on and so forth, and if some say they don't, they're lying, either they're too cowardly to take risks, in conventional ways, in order to acquire them, or they're physically and mentally retarded.
While I have one major physical (sinusitis) and one major mental (OCD) disorder, and both of them can interfere with me doing what I want to do, and while I don't like to lose (who does?), perhaps a little more than others not sure, there's plenty of people who have it worse than me, and yet they pursue what you pursue and in many cases attain it, or some semblance of it, though the ideal never quite lives up to the real.
My interests, and attitude, disposition, personality, perspective, philosophy and temperament, are different, and the fact that you have trouble imagining that they could be different, tells me something about you, it tells me that you're simple, no matter what you tell yourself, and that you're boring, no matter what you refer to yourself as, or how many independent films you watch, or novels you read.

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Post by mr reasonable Mon Aug 11, 2014 3:41 pm

Corollary Keeper wrote:
mr reasonable wrote:
Corollary Keeper wrote:Are you evil, too, Mr Reason?


I don't buy into the whole good and evil thing. That's for churchies and people who need rhetoric to support their weak positions.
Not buying into it would make you evil. Which is good. Not good as in not evil good, but good as in preferable, right, appreciated. You understand.


I don't buy into it, to the extent that I think the terms are so fluid that it's pointless to even attempt to apply them. I like what I like. That can change any time. The amount of time between me wanting things to be one way, and them becoming that way is short. You have to choose your battles and change your life, because if you don't the world will choe them for you and it'll change your life. You have to have the will to be and live as you see fit. Sometimes, people's will to do so conflicts with the way the world actually is, and they live in a state of anxiety, wishing for the impossible. You can't just know yourself, you've got to know the world too.

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Post by The_Joker Tue Aug 12, 2014 12:31 pm

There are two types of people in this world.


There are the conformers and then there are the defectors.

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Post by AnalAbortion Tue Aug 12, 2014 9:32 pm

Negation wrote:Try doing nothing, time goes by very, very slowly, when you do nothing.

A waste of time.

Negation wrote:You refer to yourself as anal abortion.
Your name is misleading, I suggest you change it.

You misunderstand the purpose of my name.

Negation wrote:For whatever reasons, internal and external, I failed to adapt.
Not because I'm stupid (I excel at both left & right brain activities), not because I'm ugly, but because of my personality (in most cases my personality is just different, in other cases, it's disordered (I have OCD),1, and 2,because of my values.

That's similar to how I was. Angry at the world for not being more like I wanted it to be and in dissonance with my values. Then I realized that by not doing anything I'm supporting the current state of the world I don't like. So I started slowly shaping the world, or, at least, my little part of it to how I want it to be by taking action.

Negation wrote:I don't want to be a part of it, that's feminine, I want it, or a part of it, to be a part of me, or I want little or nothing to do with it.
Because you're feminine, you can't imagine that there's others out there, who wouldn't happily give up themselves, their essence, in order to be part of it.
Because you're feminine, you can't imagine that there's others out there, who genuinely don't fit in, because they're different.

Real men, such as me, don't give a fuck what others think about them. I adapt to survive and enjoy life and if you equate "adapting" to "conforming" or "giving up yourself" then sure, I do it, but myself I think there's a difference. When I say that I adapt, this is what I mean:

Example 1 -, I took the sacrament of Confirmation/Chrismation even though I don't believe any of Christian bullshit purely because I got loads of money for it.

Example 2 - I used to act nice to girls and tell them I love them and how they're special (they really like that one) to have sex with them. Oh and BTW, sorry to disappoint, I'm not a female.

Negation wrote:You think everyone is like you, we all want loads of "friends", material things

But those are amongst basic human needs, almost as essential as the need for food, water, sex, shelter etc. It's only rational to assume a human being would want friends and material things and compete for them.

Negation wrote:My interests, and attitude, disposition, personality, perspective, philosophy and temperament, are different, and the fact that you have trouble imagining that they could be different

Don't strawmen me. I can imagine that they are different, I just don't think it's the truth, I think you're trying to delude yourself that the way you live is tolerable or even preferable and I think deep down even you know it's not and the fact that you're acting so defensive about it just supports my theory further.

Right now, I see you as a weak nobody, a shadow of a real man trying to justify himself but that shadow also shows potential and I'm trying to make you realize that potential. Don't be another slave in the world, become one of the masters. Of course, you can keep being a 30 year old guy living in his parents basement... or you can grow some balls and make something out of yourself and become powerful enough to be capable of shaping the world how you want it to be, to make it become part of you.

It seems to me like The_Joker has already realized this. He got kicked off of other forums so he made his own forum, where he is the master, where he pulls the strings.

And hey, you're a moderator so you'll get a taste of the power too and you'll soon know what I'm talking about... you can decide people's fates on this forum. And trust me, the taste of power is even sweeter in real world. It's worth the effort. At least for me...

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